You're Sovereign

Jeremiah 17: 5-10

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"Cursed is the one who trust in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives."

Lord Jesus Christ, I repent of the ways I have tried taking things into my own hands. I repent of the mornings I rush out of my bed without falling on my knees and seek you FIRST. Ever since the summer, it's been really rough. It's HARD to NOT cope with these emotions with my own human effort. It's HARD to come face to face with my hurts without running away. But in the end, I find myself picking up the shattered pieces of my heart with my own frail hands, getting cut up and wounded again. I have depended on my own strength..I've been so parched. I have blindly read scripture, without asking wisdom from the HolyGee. On Friday, I sat in my car behind Haggard Library and realized how NOT OKAY I have been. At the end of it all, my spirit longs for intimacy with the HolyGee.. longs for Your presence, longs for those days I lay on my bed and SOAK in You. It just popped and burst. My spirit can't live without You.. I don't want to dwell in parched places, in salt lands. May my heart always be drawn to follow Your will, Your voice.. cause I know that the hurt is a GLIMPSE of the BEAUTIFUL PICTURE- the picture of your beautiful daughter being molded into an image of Jesus Christ. It's for my good..it's for my good.

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"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water,
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are aways green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and NEVER FAILS TO BEAR FRUIT."

Teach me to trust in You, Ahbujiii. Teach me to be like a TREE, a TWIG, planted by the water.. just receiving from the Living Streams of Water. When my heart is deeply rooted in Your Word, I will not fear my pain..because I know that You won't give me more than I can bear. I will not fear when the heat comes.. because my leaves are always GREEN. If I continue to abide in You, the fruits of the HolyGee will continue to SPROUT OUT- gentleness, self-control, kindness, patience, peace, love, joy, etc. I replace all my fears, known and unknown, with the fear of the LORD. I will fear You only, Lord Jesus Christ. You turn broken into beautiful, Jesus. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You for Psalm 91. Thank You for deliverance. Thank You for being good through all circumstances. YOU ARE SO GOODLY DELICIOUS!! :D ahhbujiiii lovelove :]

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"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
who can understand it?

I, the Lord, search the heart..and examine the mind.."

Search me, Oh Ahbujii. May every inch of my heart be pleasing to You. May every thought that fly through my mind be a reflection of Your Cross. May everything I do be for Your glory.. I am SO FRIGGING SICK OF LIVING FOR MYSELF...Rid every single fleshly desire. RID. DESTROY. CRUSH. SLICE IT UP. The Evil Bastards have no stronghold in my life because it is CRUCIFIED and JESUS IS MY ONLY STRONGHOLD.
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Thank You for GHC. When I stepped into the room.. wow, what a familiar feeling. It felt exactly the same as I stepped into DCBC for the first time 8 years ago. I felt comfortable pretty fast.. GHC can potentially be my home church..as You will, Lord. I was really moved when the whole room of singles/college kids started ONEVOICE-praying for Clement & I (Newcomers). Though I didn't know almost all of them, the precious blood of Jesus Christ binds us all as one..

On the other hand, thank You for all the fun I had with Bei2, Meow, and Sandy. Thank You for ENDLESS LAUGHTERS TILL TUMMY HURTS! Thank You for longboarding trips at the park. Thank You for apples-to-apples! Thank You for wingstop! Thank You for squeezing 3 girls on a really small bed. Thank You for bobo. Thank You Lord..may all these good memories bring me closer to You, only.

Jesus, You're sovereign.