"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."
"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire...He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God."
"Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire...He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God."
Evonne and I were brought back to John 8: 42-47 (titled: The Children of the Devil) couple times in our quieTime together. We couldn't wrap around my mind around it.. that the Lost people in our lives were considered.. "Children of the Devil." They are the children of the Evil Bastards who lied to me, daunted me, guilt-tripped me, tempted me, shattered me, maliciously smiled at me, and destroyed me in my old life. The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. They are perishing.
Last week, I went through a whole night of beating up myself because my precious friend has strayed even further. I reached out to her for 3 years.. and after 3 years of begging, crying, and interceding for her, I had to lay her on the altar and understand that I was merely a step on a staircase. It's the HOLYGEE that brings freedom.. not my words or actions. This past semester, I was so broken down in pieces that I completely forgot her..stopped praying for her..and ceased reaching out to her. I was so angry at myself..and felt "responsible" for her salvation. How could I be so consumed in my pain that I forgot her? How could I be so ridiculously SELFISH?
But the Lord countered that lie.
After a talk with a brother last night, I also found myself ANGRY that I don't reach out to people enough. People are broken and shattered.. why don't I make EXTRA EFFORT to bug them, irritate them, and make sure that they are okay? Why does it feel like EVERYTHING I do is wrong? Am I really not welcoming enough? Do I really form my own cliques? Do I really seem distant? Am I really THAT inconsiderate?
But the Lord countered that lie.
He told me that even though I forgot her, HE NEVER DID. I needed this past semester to renounce, repent, and restore from my old life. I am merely a VESSEL..
He told me that I am not responsible for my brother's spiritual needs. He told me that I did the best I could this past semester.. and the rest is up wto HIM. He told me that my brother is in a place where He needs to be.. that even though my brother feels really crapped up, it is part of His perfect plan in molding him into an image of Jesus Christ. It is NOT my responsibility. It is a BLESSING to keep others accountable.. but when I can't carry my own burdens, how can I carry others' burdens? JESUS helps carry the burdens, NOT ME.
HolyGee, You said that where You are, there is freedom. As Toaster and I reach out to our beloved friend today, we invite Your HolyGee to move.. because we admit our total inadequacy. May You shine out of our broken vessels.. may You anoint our lips and our actions. May You move in WHATEVER WAY YOU WANT TO. It is not our will, but Your will be done.
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